Ah, the good old days of the NOPD. When accidentally killing a dog seemed like the most egregious thing cops could get charged for. Former officer Jason Lewis was slapped with a six-month jail sentence, six months of probation, and $12,000 in restitution for leaving his canine partner in the squad car to die of heat exhaustion. Primo, a 6-year-old Belgian Malnois, died last summer. If only the DA's office would get some convictions for people who killed other humans.

"And the joke is rather sad, That it's all just a little bit of history repeating..." A oil and gas mining platform exploded in the Gulf this morning. The Coast Guard rescued all 13 employess, and after claiming that the no hydrocarbons were spilled,officials now report a mile long "sheen." Officials noted that this a fixed not floating platform reducing risk... sort of...

As much as we miss the corporate packaging (and pricing), and big-box anonymity of Tower and Virgin Megastore, it's time for some new blood (or any blood) to pump into the NOLA music store scene. And where better than the epicenter of hip known  as Bywater? Euclid Records, an outfit based in St. Louis, is opening a store at Chartres and Desire. To kick it off and perhaps endear themselves to the people whose records they will sell, the store is throwing a bash this weekend that is chocked full of 9th Ward acts. But if you want to beat the rush and get the good stuff while everyone is still working, we hear they're already open.

We don't want to go too far down Keith Olberman's rabbit hole. That hole in which well-intentioned journalists sink and start to believe that to criticize FOX News ad nauseum is stand Murrow-like against injustice. But this is worth a 'What the F#@$,' and we ain't talking about the daquiri flavor at  Gene's. Think tank bigwig Rob Bluey writes today in a blog post totaling two paragraphs that New Orleanians should be grateful for George W. Bush.

Seeing that budget cuts from John Lombardi's invisible hand were beginning to look inevitable, agitated (and agitating) University of New Orleans students apparently took matters into their own hands this morning by "seizing" Milneburg Hall -- a building at the school's Lakeview campus. To the minds of those of us who were raised on 60s Vietnam protest lore, the whole thing sounds more like a sit-in. So much for peaceniks. We received an e-mail about this. It's posted after the jump. For now, that's all we know. And, of course, this isn't the first such protest over the proposed $34 million budget cuts that will cost the college academic programs, jobs, and infrastructure.

We have just been informed that football has a "First Lady" and this week she will be holding court in New Olreans. George Clinton may have named Miss Aretha Franklin the First Lady of Choclate City, but NFL sponsor Frebreze says that on September 9, it will be resident, Olivia Manning. In a truly tasteless move, the NFL (peope who tried to take WhoDat) have asked Manning to clean a MOBILE HOME with Frebreze for the kickoff.

Harry Shearer's work needs to no explanation to New Orleanians... however, what the residents of the Big Easy might not know is that the famed local icon also has done memorable work on The Simpsons and This Is Spinal Tap. Now, he has made a film about Katrina and governmental F-Ups called, "The Big Uneasy." It screens tonight only nationwide, and at the Prytania and Canal Place locally. Trailer after the jump.

Like the uncle with a rap sheet that your mother tried to keep you from talking to at the family reunion, the shadow of FEMA continues to loom as the fifth anniversary of Katrina (finally) passes. To show just how large the FEMA impact still remains, the folks over at the New Orleans Lens put together a map and extensive article on the projects FEMA funded following the storms. The map includes a host of city-supported projects as well. It all proves things can get accomplished in this city after all, but not without the bopping of an awful lot of heads!

The President was in town yesterday for the requisite Five Years Later speech. However, the question resounding through the Y'At brain is, "What did he eat?" Obama with family in tow, went to Parkway for a shrimp Po'Boy. [VIA] Well, this is one executive decision that we applaud!

Bring Them Home.

Today was primary day, and most of the elections went as planned. Vitter and Melancon trounced their opposition and will face off for the Sneate Seat. Cedric Richmond easily won a position as Cao's executioner avoiding a runoff. (Sorry to NoDef favorite Juan LaFonta.) The BIG NEWS is Huner Downer's race against the Tea Party which appears to be heading for a runoff.

Dear Readers, You may recall the strange story of Brent Furer, our illustrious Senator David Vitter's aide, who accepted a plea deal after being arrested for attacking his girlfriend with a knife. Get ready for chapter two! It seems the Senator's attorneys have put aside solicitation defenses and devoted their efforts to pressuring local papers to shun the story just like Vitty.

By Christopher Herbeck

Ladies and Gentleman, NOLA Defender is pleased to report that we have a happy ending to a story previously covered on this publication. The case of the missing unicorn has been solved! Well, kind of…

The rest of the country now knows another thing we take for granted in NOLA... No, not the joys of open containers. No, not the Saints. Popeyes. Prepare for the media blitz, as the same research group that bought you the Pepsi Challenge has discovered that Americans prefer Popeyes to KFC in blind taste tests. In celebration, NY's Times Square turned orange this week as a brass band led a Yankee effort at a secondline.

Where to start? So, former Arabian Horse Expert, Presidential Medal of Freedom (whatever that is) winner, and FEMA chief, Michael Brown now has a talk show. Joining the ranks of G. Gordon Liddy, Brown broadasts his political views across our fine land's airwaves. This week, he will be broadcasting live from New Orleans. (Go ahead, just put your own joke in right here... we're used to being slapped in the face... ma' it don't even hurt no more.)